Tuesday, September 6, 2011


I have a problem. I had a dream several months ago. A nightmare, really. It is honestly still scaring the crap out of me. I dreamed (or is dreamt the correct term?) that I was in someone's driveway--I think it was supposed to be mine. You know how dreams take pieces of real life--your house, your school, work, your neighbor's house etc and combine them into one insane collage that makes sense in dreamland? Anyway, it wasn't my real driveway but it was mine in the dream. So, I'm backing out of the driveway and looking in the rear-view mirror. As I look back, I see two girls suddenly appear in the mirror. I slammed on the brakes and I think that I avoid them. But I don't. I hit one of them.

When I looked in the mirror, the girls were NOT my kids. However, I felt the "thud' for lack of a better term as I hit the girl in my dream and woke up. As I was ripped out of the dream, the child that I hit changed to Kelly. I think that she died in the dream--I didn't just hit her foot or something. Needless to say, there was no going back to sleep that day.

So, many people would just chalk it up to a bad dream. But for some reason this is haunting me. I'm now worried that it is some sort of premonition and am super alert anytime I am around a school--which isn't necessarily a bad thing. However, I dropped Kelly off last week and looked down from the wheel for a second. I heard a child scream and my heart dropped. Then I realized that I was driving past their fenced-in playground and the kids were screaming in fun! A few weeks ago, I took Ally to camp at the Y and was in a hurry. I didn't do a thorough job of checking before I backed out, and worried that maybe I hit somebody. I STILL remember the feeling of that dream and it was at least 2-3 months ago. Being a careful driver is one thing, but being obsessive is another.