Dreaming

I have a problem. I had a dream several months ago. A nightmare, really. It is honestly still scaring the crap out of me. I dreamed (or is dreamt the correct term?) that I was in someone's driveway--I think it was supposed to be mine. You know how dreams take pieces of real life--your house, your school, work, your neighbor's house etc and combine them into one insane collage that makes sense in dreamland? Anyway, it wasn't my real driveway but it was mine in the dream. So, I'm backing out of the driveway and looking in the rear-view mirror. As I look back, I see two girls suddenly appear in the mirror. I slammed on the brakes and I think that I avoid them. But I don't. I hit one of them.

When I looked in the mirror, the girls were NOT my kids. However, I felt the "thud' for lack of a better term as I hit the girl in my dream and woke up. As I was ripped out of the dream, the child that I hit changed to Kelly. I think that she died in the dream--I didn't just hit her foot or something. Needless to say, there was no going back to sleep that day.

So, many people would just chalk it up to a bad dream. But for some reason this is haunting me. I'm now worried that it is some sort of premonition and am super alert anytime I am around a school--which isn't necessarily a bad thing. However, I dropped Kelly off last week and looked down from the wheel for a second. I heard a child scream and my heart dropped. Then I realized that I was driving past their fenced-in playground and the kids were screaming in fun! A few weeks ago, I took Ally to camp at the Y and was in a hurry. I didn't do a thorough job of checking before I backed out, and worried that maybe I hit somebody. I STILL remember the feeling of that dream and it was at least 2-3 months ago. Being a careful driver is one thing, but being obsessive is another.

Overprotective much?

Yep, we're still here. As usual, I have mentally prepared posts long before I have the inclination or time to type them up.

One thing that Mike and I have been talking about lately is whether we have been too overprotective of Ally. She is our first baby, and of course, you are always learning the ropes with the first. We fully admit we have sheltered her, but I just wonder if it has been too much. For instance, when we read fairy tales like "Snow White", I omit the part where the huntsman is to kill Snow White. Ally has such a fragile grasp on what death is (though she understands a little more after my grandfather & aunt passed away last year) that I didn't want to explain why someone would want to murder another person. Was I wrong to do that?

With regards to tv, Ally watches mostly PBS with the occasional Mickey Mouse or Dora thrown in (more for Kelly). Oh, but her new fave is "Jake & the Neverland Pirates"--anyone else watching that? Anyway, it is mostly educational stuff. However, we remember watching the Bugs Bunny cartoons with all the violence! But my SIL supposedly lets her kid, who was 4 or 5 at the time, watch True Blood. WTH? I still maintain that is way off base, but I wonder what other kids her age are watching.

At this point, I think Ally is overly sensitive like me. She was scared of the villain in the Care Bears movie, and wanted me to sit next to her. Needless to say, when they watched "The Lion King" at school, she was terrified! I don't know if she is innately sensitive, or if it is because she hasn't been exposed to those kinds of things.

A few months ago, Ally started asking all kinds of questions at night. These questions were out of nowhere! She asked "What if someone broke in and took all our toys?" and the one that broke my heart was "What if someone came in and stole my sister?"!!!!!!!!!! We don't let her watch the news, because of scary stories like that. Mike & I both have OCD tendencies, so I don't want her to be afraid of the world. But hearing her ask those questions made me wonder if she was already anxious about the world. Thankfully, Ally seemed to trust me when I said they were safe and stopped asking those heartbreaking questions.

We do discuss "stranger danger" and that there are "mean" people who can hurt you. We don't want her to be completely naive, but where is the line???? What do you all think?

The play's the thing

In high school, I was a member of the International Thespian Society. In other words, I was a theater geek! Loved it! Worked mostly backstage, but dabbled in acting. It truly was a haven for me in high school and my best memories of hs are from theater. Needless to say, I want to impart that love to my girls.

We are lucky to have La Comedia Dinner Theater relatively close to us, and Mike and I have visited several times. The food is usually really good, as are the performances. The first play we saw there was "Miss Saigon", and it was okay. I thought it could have been better, but still had a great time. We went a few months ago and saw "Phantom". Phenomenal! The story, the singing, all of it was amazing. I had goose bumps by the end!
So, I wanted to have some special Ally and Mommy time and saw that La Comedia was putting on "Cinderella." Now, how could I go wrong with that??? We went on Sunday and had a great time. Lots of little girls were all dressed up like different princesses--adorable. I've never seen so many cute kids. Ally was so excited and behaved perfectly. The best part was when the Prince was searching all of the land for the woman whose foot would fit the slipper. He actually came out in the audience and tried it on a few people--including Ally! He took her sandal off and put it on. Of course, it was too big, but he said "Maybe next year!" So cute! I was beaming and laughing at the same time, while she really didn't get the fact that it was special that he picked her. We stayed to chat with the cast, and got a few pics. They were all awesome!

Ally, the stepsisters and stepmother

The fairy godmother!

And of course, Cinderella and the Prince!

Swamped--part 1

So, once again, I have been absent from posting for a long time. I am swamped with housework and feel as if I am drowning in toys, paperwork, and crap. The mess really takes a toll on my psyche and I have no energy to do anything else. I play around a little bit on facebook, but I almost feel as if that is my socialization. Without that, I would be a total looney-tune. I try to maintain a clean house, I do, but I feel as if I am treading water, about to go under.

I grew up in a messy house. I hated it. I would come home during the summers and try to go through the obvious stuff--I couldn't deal with my parents paperwork, obv. There would always be stuff everywhere. Now, don't get me wrong. I'm not talking about an episode of Hoarders or anything. Just really messy. So, you would think that I would be a neat freak in response, but it just hasn't turned out that way. Even before we had kids, the house was a little cluttered. Since kids, we have just added way more stuff to our house! Ally doesn't keep her room cleaned, and Kelly thinks its fun to throw all the toys back out of the box that Mommy picked up. Yes, I know this is normal kid behavior, but it is frustrating!

So, once the kids are in bed, I feel sapped of motivation. I want to relax and watch an ADULT tv show. I want to read. I want to scrapbook (another source of the mess--huge piles of pictures!). I want to talk to my husband. Instead, we bust our asses washing dishes, doing laundry, picking up toys, dealing with paperwork, etc etc etc. Or if I'm lucky, I get to go to the grocery store at 9pm. Woo-hoo. (insert sarcasm). I feel like we are always in survival mode, with regards to cooking and cleaning, and don't get a chance to delve into handling the messes that get pushed to the side.
How do you handle the housework? At night? On the weekends? Do you forgo sleep? (BTW, that sure as hell ain't happenin'!)

Project Fail=Success!

So, how have you all been? When I posted that I failed at Nablopomo, I really didn't intend to disappear for a couple of months. I guess if you are going to do something, even fail, then go all out! :o) I even started this back in Jan, and never finished it.

Just a quick note to let you know that I am still here. Things around here have been chaotic, as usual. Does that ever change? My mom is one of 5 kids, and my dad is one of 7 kids, and I just want to scream thinking about that. Having *2* kids has made me lose my ever-lovin' mind, so I don't know what you do with that many. Though, from watching some of the show with the Duggars, I guess the older help take care of the younger kids. On a side note, Michelle Duggar makes me feel truly inadequate as a mother. I think she must be a saint because she seems so patient, and even-tempered while dealing with ALL.THOSE.KIDS. Always smiling, and laughing, and loving. Is that for real or for the tv?

Anyhoo...back in October, Mike and I celebrated our 10 year wedding anniversary! Some days it doesn't seem possible that we have been married that long (and yet, there are times when it seems like centuries!). I have not yet come to grips with the fact that I am in my 30s, so the fact that we have been married for that long is just weird! I don't feel any older than 27 or so...maybe I'll stay that age for a while.

During my hiatus (ha), Allison turned 5 (!) and Kelly turns 18 months old next week. I am currently in the midst of organizing 5 years of digital pics, and hope to post some good ones soon!

Random Laughs

So, things have been somewhat bleak around here due to the germs. When I feel up to posting about the mess that is Kelly's immune system, I'll share (the info, not the germs!). In the meantime, here are some amusing thoughts from Ally.

*Ally went to her grandma's house and was playing doctor. She likes to give shots, and the location of said shots can be your arm, leg, eye, ear, anywhere. My mom told me what Ally had been doing when I called to check on her. That night, when she came home, Ally told me that grandma called her a duck. Confused, I looked at her and said, "She called you what?" And she looked me straight in the eye and said, "Yeah, a duck. Grandma said I was a quack!" Ha ha ha!!!!

*Several months ago, I was talking to my mom and said that I was losing my mind. Ally was on the phone as well and informed me that she found my mind. Not only did she find it, she told me she squished it for me! Isn't she helpful?

*We were out to dinner last Friday and there was a jazz band playing. Ally really liked the music while we were eating. Halfway through the meal, she leaned over to me and said "I wonder if they will play 'Old McDonald'?"

*This morning, I bundled the girls up to take Ally to school. I put Kelly's little hat on (I'll try and get a pic) which has doggie ears on it and a chinstrap. In the car, Ally shared her thought that Kelly looked like she was ready to go into outer space! What? She said that the hat looked like a helmet and Kelly was ready to fly in a spaceship!

Gotta love preschoolers!

Infection Collection

Sounds disgusting, eh? Disgusting is the word that I would use to describe my house the last 2 months or so. And I'm not even talking about the clutter! Forget the workers of the world, the GERMS of the world have united in my house and refuse to leave. They are staging a nasty and fierce revolution with my family!

Here is a recap of the battles:
*Went on vacation late August. Thought one or both girls might be getting sick, but it was a minor skirmish.
*Middle of September--thought I had the flu, but just sinus infection. Felt like crap, but functional.
*End of September: Kelly hit her head hard and passed out in my arms for 2-3 seconds. Went to the dr. Was told to look for vomiting as a bad side effect. The next day, she started with diarrhea. Day after that, here comes the vomiting. Took her to Childrens (that's a whole 'nother post), and it luckily had nothing to do with the injury. Unfortunately, she had a horrible stomach bug for 10 damn days! Those weak-of-heart need to skip to the next battle!!! I mean, full-on, explosive diarrhea going thru the diaper, outfit and even leaking off of the crib railing. As Mike is cleaning the crib and changing the sheets, Kelly then threw up all over me and the floor. In my almost 5 years as a parent, I have never seen that much vomit at once! Blech. Took every ounce of strength not to add to it!!
*Mid-October: Nasty stomach bug is gone, but both girls have had runny noses, coughing, etc. *End of October: Kelly is diagnosed with an ear infection.
*Early November: I still feel like crap. Diagnosed with sinus and ear infection.
*The very next week: Ally is diagnosed with sinus and ear infection, with lovely goop in her eye.
*This week: Kelly is diagnosed with another ear infection. Feverish, snotty, cranky and not eating. Kelly eats for an hour at a time, so if she's not eating, something is definitely WRONG! Off to the ear, nose and throat dr we go!!!

For those keeping count, that means 4 infections in 4 consecutive weeks. We are on a streak, people!
It just won't end. I finished my antibiotic last week and don't feel much better. This round, I feel even worse--like maybe this IS finally the flu or H1N1 or whatever. Maybe we will go 5 infections for 5 weeks! I haven't felt "good' for months. Every time we go thru this, I wonder IS IT SWINE FLU? And it doesn't seem to be. But dear God, if we haven't had it yet, I am truly terrified!